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Another set back…

mamamadblog

…and one I can’t talk about because I’m constantly being watched/spied on by people who have no authority to do so.

I do hope they don’t know about this blog, but currently I am believing anything is possible.

I feel awful this evening. Like I have been hit by a tonne of bricks and I will never ever recover.

I am struggling to find the positives in anything right now.

This condition, and this surgery, has literally destroyed my life, in more ways than I ever thought possible.

All my life I’ve been the girl who never quite fit in.

I really thought that as an adult that would change – that I’d finally find people I could connect with and could trust. People who wouldn’t want to destroy my life just because they don’t like me.

Well I was wrong.

The adult world is even more brutal than the child/teenage world.

Is there a term for lower than rock bottom? Because that’s me right now.

I have no strength.

No positivity.

Absolutely nothing to pick me up out of this dark, deep abyss.

All I want to do is give up and give in.

There is no fight left in me and I am broken.

Completely broken…

Published by mamamadblog

9 thoughts on “Another set back…”

  2. Hey love, your post is breaking my heart. I too have faced so many days where giving up and giving in seemed preferable over living my current hell. You are not alone, blogging has been a great way for me to “fit in” and I hope you find peace in it as well. We have these stories we tell ourselves, the really scary, bad ending stories. The ones that reenforce we are alone and can’t take another thing & whats the point because everything ends up terrible anyway. The adult world is brutal but it has its perks. My favorite is eating ice cream in my pjs at anytime of day- because I am grownup after all. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself to something fun. The worse storms bring the prettiest rainbows. I look forward to reading about yours here. Many hugs.

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    1. I totally took your advice today and I had cake for dinner instead of a “proper” evening meal! That is one great thing about being a grown up! Thank you for your kind words – they really picked me up when I was down, and they have helped me to see the positives of things as well. xx

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  3. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sending you support! Things will get better! I’d recommend doing nice things for yourself and spending as much time as possible with people who make you feel good!

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