Are you mad?

My name is Mama Mad (only not really, as I’m not married yet, which is where the ‘mad’ bit comes from, and I’m not even remotely a Mama yet, unless you class two naughty 3 and a half year old bengals as children!)

I am 24 years old (or young, as some people constantly remind me!) and I am at the start of my long, long journey into trying to actually embody the Mama Mad persona I have so aptly devised for myself.

“Struggling with infertility is like dealing with the five stages of grief every single month. You deny, bargain, get angry, cry, accept. Then start all over again.”

Although, strictly speaking, and according to the ‘professionals’, I am not infertile, as such, I just feel like I am.

Updated post-operatively June 2016….

In April 2016 I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. (PCOS)

“Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a common condition that affects how a woman’s ovaries work.”

After the best part of 18 months spent begging my GP to refer me to a Specialist, I saw the lovely Dr Busby at the Alexandra Hospital in Cheadle, Cheshire.

After spending an hour listening to me, my symptoms and examining me, leaving no stone unturned, Dr Busby surmised I actually have a condition called ‘endometriosis’.

“Endometriosis is a condition resulting from the appearance of endometrial tissue outside the womb and causing pelvic pain, especially associated with menstruation.”

In June 2016 I had a laparoscopy (a surgical procedure in which a fibre-optic instrument is inserted through the abdominal wall to view the organs in the abdomen or permit small-scale surgery) and hysteroscopy (hysteroscopy is a procedure used to examine the inside of the womb (uterus). It’s carried out using a hysteroscope, which is a narrow telescope with a light and camera at the end. Images are sent to a monitor so your doctor or specialist nurse can see inside your womb) to explore (and subsequently remove) the endometriosis.

In the last 3 years I’ve had one pregnancy and one miscarriage.

I’ve been engaged to my wonderful partner (that’s where the ‘Mad’) comes from, for over a year, and we get married in February 2017. We are desperate to start our own family, and I now hope to chart our journey on this blog. I originally started this blog after spending over a year begging and pleading with my GP to do something as I “just knew” something was wrong. Now I feel the blog is taking a different direction, having had surgery, and been given some hope.

Updated 7 months post-op, January 2017…

I have had at least 50 failed pregnancy tests, only 2 months pain free and one ‘chemical pregnancy’ since surgery in June last year.

I am now 25 and losing hope that we will ever have a child of our own.

We get married in less than a month.

The naughty bengals are still naughty and the closest thing, I feel, I will ever get to babies, so I spoil them. They turn this year and I can’t believe how fast the time has gone since I brought them home as little scrappy 12 week old kittens.

I try to be positive, honestly, but sometimes this illness really takes it out of me!


Thanks for stopping by, or continuing to stop by if you have followed my journey from the beginning!

image5  Mama mad



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